So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
