At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
