bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
4 words: hood of his car
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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