i just google imaged poop.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
