Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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