That's intense
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
