i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
