I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
