So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
