are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
