It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
