me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Text me some of your sweat
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
