I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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