Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So much rum. So many feels.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
