Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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