So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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