dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
