so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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