Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
