i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
