I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
