I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
