I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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