I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
