i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
