Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
