What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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