He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Boobs are out for the taking
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
