I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No stitches, just platelets and will power
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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