i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
