the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
