wakey wakey hands off snakey
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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