Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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