It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
