The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
