I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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