his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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