why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
