I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
