Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
