There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
