you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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