Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
