omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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