I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
