Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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