8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
