I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
