You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
