Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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