she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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